Welcome to Day 3! How are you finding it? Have you learned anything knew about your insecurity and shame triggers?
If you are anything like us, it’s at this point in challenges that we sometimes lose our footing and/or life distracts us. So here are some simple aims to help keep you on track. Remember that you can @ us or leave a comment at any time if you feel like you need a bit of extra support.
Keeping on track
Find comfort in your own honesty. Sometimes we see a photograph, an item of clothing, someone else’s holiday photos, or even a comment that makes us feel insecure. We fall into a comparison trap and list all of the reasons why we’re not able to take those photos, wear those kinds of clothes, or interact with the world other people do. But when we do that, we deny and diminish all of our own good. We limit who we can and should be to parameters that feel like as though they have been set by other people. The truth is that no matter how many likes a photograph gets, it will never change the way you see yourself.
If something on social media makes you feel insecure, give yourself the time and space to ask yourself;
- What is it about the photograph/number of comments/”insta-love” that is bothering me?
- How does this post make me feel?
- Is it the image? Is it the comments? Try to pinpoint what is triggering your feelings of shame and insecurity.
If something in your day-to-day life makes you feel insecure, ask yourself.
- What is it about this situation that is bothering me? Is it the way someone talked to me/looked at me/made me feel?
- Why am I responding to this situation/person like this?
- How do I feel within myself right now? What can I do to improve that?
Set boundaries. This is a tough one in real life and virtual life, but it’s a necessary step. If an account, or comments trigger insecurities with you then disengage. Consider whether you tend to engage with people or things that make you feel insecure in your daily life. If so, how can you set boundaries to make less room for the insecure feelings?
Essential Skills
Give yourself permission to be vulnerable. The truth is, we all get intimidated. The social validation aspect of social media is part of it’s appeal and part of the reason that there are times when we want to throw our phones out of the window. We have all been there, but sometimes we can lose our connection with ourselves at the expense of seeking social validation.
Think of one thing you love that you would never share or do around others (like singing at the top of your lungs in the shower) and remember that, if you wanted, you could do that anywhere. It’s the same with vulnerability, you have the right to determine how and with whom you are vulnerable with. And that is awesome.
Get real with yourself; give yourself permission to be. It’s not a social media platform’s fault that we get insecure, we aren’t living in a dystopian world hellbent on our misery or destruction. We’re just living in the same world we always lived in….with camera phones. That in itself is kind of crazy, we most definitely were not prepared for this. Instead of fighting let’s do the best with what we have. Turn off the phone, computer, television, radio, and give yourself a moment to breathe. You got this.
